When I was a kid, my sister was always after me to play dolls with her. “Sure, I will just grab my BB gun,” I would say. She even bought me a Ken doll as a birthday gift one year, in an attempt to rope me in – at an age when news of it would have been socially disastrous! It wasn’t that I didn’t love my sister; we had great times making mud pies, drawing and even playing with stuffed animals. Just not dolls.
You might think that with the preferences of my childhood, I would have matured into the sort of father who is afraid of his son “turning onto a pansy” from wearing pink or playing with dolls. Fortunately not. When my wife returned from a garage sale with a cute little pink stroller and dolly combo for Budster, I admit I thought it was hilarious how he steered it like a rally car. He would also tip out the doll and then head off with the stroller like it was a wheelbarrow and he needed to get another load of dolls to dump. I told Liska that the only reason he liked it was because it had four wheels, and that he would forget about the doll until he was old enough to experiment on it with a magnifying glass or hobby knife.
Well, I was wrong. Wheels still qualify at the top as essential anatomy for his favourite toys, but the stroller has fallen out of favour, and the doll, Baby, is his new pal. As I have watched him play with his doll, I have noticed some unexpected and positive developments that I think are worth sharing:
1.Budster likes to speak to his baby, and he uses some words and grammatical constructions that don’t often make it out of his passive vocabulary. “Sleep, Baby! Sleep!” is a good example – he studiously avoided the word and the act before rediscovering his doll, and playing at putting it to bed. He seems to have become more comfortable with the notion, as a result.
Budster loves reading to his baby and pointing out different objects to him. Just like we do!
2. He plays games where the doll represents him, and he acts as a parent. Then he puts his doll to sleep, and feeds or dresses it to his own preferences. Theoretically, it helps him to take another person’s point of view, and it is the beginning of an important skill of empathy. Further, through reenacting and play, he processes his reality and better understands how everyday life works. As his knowledge of the world around him develops, he will play at store, doctor, school, etc, but his first step is to play at what he knows best, after two years of having been a baby.
3. Additionally, he learns a few useful practical skills: like dressing and undressing. He cannot yet put on his own shoes, but he is one step closer for having put on his doll’s shoes.
Feeding his doll. Apparently, chocolate is the best food for babies.
“Nice Baby!”
Great post! We’ve been planning to get our son a doll, in preparation for the birth of his new sibling. Unfortunately, until now, it’s been low on my list of priorities and I have forgotten all about it. But your great insights have re-inspired me to head out and get my hands on a doll, so that Little E can begin learning about being a big brother and, eventually, a dad!
Thanks, Dave! I hope your son benefits as much from his doll as our son has. Congratulations on the forthcoming addition to your family!
Great post! None of my boys have become really attached to any dolls, but I feel that its definitely worth having those toys available for them to give them the opportunity – it’s not for girls at all.
And these photos of Budster with baby are soo cute! :)
Wow, I agree wholeheartedly.my son and daughter are grown up.
Im a grandma to a 3 year old boy. He has had access to a variety of baby dolls, buggy, blankets pillows, little bed. Also play mobile , dolls house, dinosaurs, crafts and painting, rocking horse too.He is interested in beetles bugs and flowers.sticks and stones. Very active boy
He plays with cars, dresses up,he cooks and surf’s, helps daddy chop wood, in the garage, builds fires, cycles, swims, sings, reading, loves paddling pools, and parks and football …. He gets lots of tough and tumble with daddy and loves it. Daddy cooks, washes up works etc. I’m sure like my children he will have access to guns rifles , cowboy hats etc.
He is a great little happy calm lad and sleeps well, behaves well and enjoys food.
At nursery all the children have access to all toys, fullstop.
To not provide dolls etc at home, would miss out.
My son has a speech delay and sensory. Issues im getting him one
My son is five with a speech delay and sensory issues so i got him a 22inch new born doll and he loves it his dad is pi**ed but he will be okay